Facing Our Journey

Hello, ladies!

Today, I want to speak to us—women—about something deeply personal, yet universal for many of us: the unhealed wounds we carry from our childhoods. If you are here today, my hope is that something in this message resonates with you and encourages you to confront the pain you may have tucked away for far too long.

Let’s talk about the damage many of us experienced as little girls. Maybe it was physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, or even violations of our trust and innocence. These experiences do not just disappear as we grow older. When left unaddressed, they don’t just go away, they manifest in different ways. They show up in our relationships, our friendships, and even in our professional lives.

Think about the concept of core memories—like in the movie “Inside Out.” Those traumatic moments become deeply ingrained in us. You remember the pain of being verbally accosted by someone you trusted, someone who was supposed to protect you. Maybe it was a parent, a grandparent, or a caregiver. And what happens when that person, the one who was appointed to watch over you, becomes the abuser? The betrayal, the brokenness, the silence—that becomes your core memory.

For some of us, those memories might include telling a trusted adult that someone was hurting us, only to be called a liar. Maybe it was an uncle, an aunt, a sibling, or even a parent who violated your trust. And instead of protection, you were silenced. You were made to carry the weight of that abuse, not only physically and emotionally, but also within the family dynamic—forced to sit across from your abuser at Thanksgiving or Christmas, pretending everything was okay.

Ladies, the silence we were taught as little girls often follows us into adulthood. It either strips us of our voice completely, or it makes us fight tooth and nail to find one. Some of us lose our ability to speak up. We let others speak over us or for us. We do not advocate for ourselves. And then there are others, who fight hard to reclaim our voices, but we struggle to navigate what that even looks like. What do you do when you are given a platform but don’t trust it? When you are waiting for that moment, wondering if it’s safe to speak?

These unhealed wounds shape how we see relationships, both with men and women. If you were violated or betrayed by a man, maybe you find it hard to trust men. Or maybe it’s women you struggle to trust because of how they have hurt or failed you. And let’s not forget those of us who repeat cycles unintentionally. Maybe you swore you would never be like your mother, but in some ways, you have repeated what you hated most because the trauma remains unaddressed.

Don’t you think it’s time we break these cycles. It’s time we stop passing down pain and start passing down healing. Some of us have lived in survival mode for so long—always in freeze or flight mode, waiting for the next shoe to drop. But can I tell you something? That’s not living. That’s not freedom. And that’s not what God wants for us.

My own mother carried her trauma into motherhood. She didn’t trust anyone with her daughters because of the abuse she experienced as a little girl. We did not do sleepovers, and the few we did were with my Tanty Becca. As a child, I did not understand it. But now, as a mother, I do. Her pain shaped her parenting. And while her intention was to protect us, that unhealed trauma impacted all of us.

So today, I want to challenge us to do something hard but necessary: heal the little girl in us so the woman can grow up and thrive. Healing is not easy. It is uncomfortable and scary because it forces us to confront the unknown. But it’s necessary! We cannot keep wearing our pain like a coat we are afraid to take off. It is not serving you or me—it’s weighing us down.

Healing starts with acknowledging the pain, the trauma, and the silence. It means getting help—through therapy, counseling, support groups, or spiritual guidance. It means finding resources, no matter where you live, to start this journey. Healing also means letting go of the shame that was never yours to carry. It is time to confront those core memories and rewrite the narrative of your life.

If you are struggling with where to start, let me remind you of this: God is a healer. Scripture tells us in: Psalm 34:18 that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Isaiah 61:3 reminds us that He gives us “a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

You don’t have to walk this road alone. God is with you, and He will send people to walk alongside you if you let Him.

I want to encourage us/you, as women to heal not just for ourselves, but for our daughters, our sons, our families, and our communities. You are worthy of the freedom, joy, and peace that comes with it.

It is time to reclaim your story, confront what’s been holding you back, and step boldly into the woman you were created to be. Healing isn’t just a gift to yourself—it’s a powerful act of love for those who look to you, depend on you, and follow in your footsteps. The cycle can stop with us, and a new legacy begins.

Here are some widely accessible resources to help you take that first step toward transformation:

Counseling and Therapy

1. Therapy for Black Girls: A directory and online community offering mental health resources and therapists specializing in supporting women of color.

2. BetterHelp: An online therapy platform that connects users with licensed counselors for virtual sessions, providing flexibility regardless of location.

3. Talkspace: Offers therapy online and via text, allowing women to connect with licensed professionals at their convenience.

Support Groups

1. RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization provides a 24/7 hotline (1-800-656-HOPE) and chat service for survivors seeking support and resources.

2. Domestic Shelters: Provides access to shelters, hotlines, and resources for those escaping abusive situations, including emotional and physical abuse.

3. Survivor Networks: Psychology Today has a searchable database of support groups for survivors of trauma and abuse in various regions.

Faith-Based Healing

1. Celebrate Recovery: A Christ-centered program helping people heal from past trauma, addiction, and brokenness. Available in many churches globally.

2. GriefShare: A faith-based support group for healing from grief and loss, with local chapters worldwide.

Books for Healing

1. “Woman Evolve: Break Up with Your Fears and Revolutionize Your Life” by Sarah Jakes Roberts

2. “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend: A faith-based guide on setting healthy boundaries in relationships.

Hotlines and Crisis Resources

1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 988 – Available 24/7 for anyone in crisis.

2. Crisis Text Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741 (U.S.), 686868 (Canada), or 85258 (UK) for 24/7 crisis support.

3. 211 (United Way): A free service in the U.S. and Canada that connects individuals with local resources, including mental health services and counseling.

For Women of Faith

1. She Works His Way: A faith-based resource for women seeking to align their healing and purpose with God’s word.

2. Proverbs 31 Ministries: Offers devotionals, Bible studies, and support for Christian women.

3. From Bondage to Freedom: A faith-based resource for deliverance and a healing ministry; Email: frombondage2freedommin@gmail.com

4. Facing Our Journey International Ministries: A faith-based resource for women seeking healing and to align their purpose with God’s word and vision; Email: facingourjourney61@gmail.com

I encourage you to take the first step, whether by calling a hotline, seeking a therapist, or even starting with a recommended book. Healing does not and will not happen overnight, but with the right tools and support, it is possible to break cycles and reclaim freedom.